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A new look at divorce that allows for change

The beliefs that people hold can be so limiting. Even traditional structures should be examined from time to time to allow for adjustments based on new research and insight. Marriage and divorce are no exceptions to this rule. In Florida, and all around the country, the old ways of sticking with the same person, no matter the circumstances, are being revised in the face of new research and new ways of thinking. A recent news story shows the positive aspects of planning for the possibility of divorce. 

One therapist sees the benefit in moving away from the shame-based model of marriage, the concept that once people marry, they are in it for life. She cites the work of a Harvard psychologist who teaches that people do not anticipate how much they will change over the course of a decade. Allowing for the potential dissolution of a marriage shows empathy to one's future self and to one's partner. If a person feels safe to ask for what they need in the future if the circumstances change, they are more likely to live a happy life. 

If a person can accept that one day they may grow out of a marriage, they are letting themselves be in the marriage because they want to, not because they have to. Therefore accepting the possibility of, or even planning for divorce takes away some of the pressure to be perfect in a marriage. Just like a job that no longer fits, a person can grow out of a marriage. 

Married people in Florida may be considering divorce and are struggling with how to move forward. Other people may be considering marriage, but want to plan for the future possibility of divorce. In both cases, having the assistance of lawyers can help. An experienced family law attorney can help with the formation of prenuptial agreements, divorce agreements, or child custody issues both before and during a divorce. 

Source:, "A therapist explains why one of the most traditional beliefs about marriage is also the most damaging", Shana Lebowitz, July 5, 2017

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