Divorce isn't exactly a fun process. Going through a divorce can bring out the worst in people, even for couples who are on fairly good terms. Perhaps you and your spouse agreed to remain amicable while divorcing, but along the way have felt so much strain that your relationship has become negative. You may be wondering: Is it even possible to have an amicable divorce?
While divorce is different for every couple, it is indeed possible to remain amicable during this thorny legal process. There are some tips that you can follow to make it a bit easier. In this post, we'll take a look at some of the things that you and your spouse can do to remain amicable during a tough divorce.
1. Beware these common causes of negativity
There are a few things that can easily cause a divorce to become contentious. These scenarios can include:
- A spouse who was unfaithful
- Dissipation of assets or otherwise spending money irresponsibly
- Putting the children in the middle of the divorce by asking them to pick sides or trying to turn them against one spouse
- Trying to hide earnings or assets
If you encounter one or more of these situations, there are some ways to cope. Be aware of the emotions, however negative, that these scenarios make you feel. Then, make a deliberate effort to remain calm, level-headed and amicable.
2. Follow a code of conduct
You should take a moment to consider how you wish to act during your divorce. This will provide a much-needed guideline for your conduct during the divorce process and after everything is finalized. Have a discussion with your spouse about how the two of you will behave as the proceedings take place. If necessary, think of your divorce as a business matter. After all, both marriage and divorce are legal contracts. Commit to a code of conduct that is polite, amicable and professional.
3. Remember the children
For many couples who remain committed to amicability, the motivating factor is their children. Although you and your partner are no longer in love, no doubt you very much love your children. If remaining amicable gets tough, remind yourself that you are doing this for the children. It is unfair to put them in the middle of a contentious divorce if it can at all be avoided. A friendly divorce will be the bridge to friendly co-parenting.